Vermont Public is independent, community-supported media, serving Vermont with trusted, relevant and essential information. We share stories that bring people together, from every corner of our region. New to Vermont Public? Start here.

© 2024 Vermont Public | 365 Troy Ave. Colchester, VT 05446

Public Files:

For assistance accessing our public files, please contact or call 802-655-9451.
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00 0:00
Available On Air Stations

VPR's coverage of arts and culture in the region.

Awesome Etiquette: Taking The Focus Off Your Wedding

David Freund
Weddings are exciting not only for the people getting married but for the friends and family of the couple. Sometimes it's hard to talk about anything else. How can you move on to other topics with friends and family?

Weddings are exciting not only for the people getting married but for the friends and family of the couple. Sometimes though, it can be difficult to talk about friends and family about anything but the wedding. How can you move on to other conversations and make it not always about you and the wedding?
I'm recently engaged and both my future husband and myself are pretty introverted and private. We're also taking our time planning as we want to enjoy being engaged and enjoy the planning not rush and stress over every detail. Mine will be the first wedding in my circle of friends as well as the first wedding in my generation of my side of the family. The problem arises when certain friends and family get so overly excited they want to know every detail now or they just flat out tell me what I should be doing. Lizzie's famous sample language has proved extremely useful.How can my fiancé and I politely but firmly let people know that we are taking our time and set healthy boundaries with people who simply don't like our ideas or want to just plan things for us?


The answer:

It's understandable that you are overwhelmed and it's also understandable that your family and friends are so excited. It's a big deal!  A few things you can do are use non-committal positive responses, try loving every idea for five minutes and you can also decline to talk about the wedding.

The third option is a polite way to shift the conversation from yourself and be honest that you'd like a break from talking about wedding details. One of the harder one is when people are just offering information or you're getting closer to the wedding and they're asking for more details. It's important to feel confident saying to someone, "if I tell you everything now it won't be a fun surprise once you get there."  You could also shift the conversation to the other person and ask about what's going on in their life.

Liam is Vermont Public’s public safety reporter, focusing on law enforcement, courts and the prison system.
Latest Stories