Sandwich Monday: The Politician

By Ian Chillag

Published June 10, 2013 at 12:43 PM EDT

The Sandwich Monday crew is out of the office today, at a staff retreat where they're probably going to make us exercise. Still, here's a quick take on a new sandwich from one of our favorite spots.

The arrival of a new sandwich at Tudor's Biscuit World in West Virginia is a lot like that scene in The Lion King: Somebody takes the biscuit to the edge of a cliff and holds it out for all of Appalachia to behold, and all the animals rejoice, except the animals who end up on the biscuit.

When the menu changes, a buttermilk biscuit makes a functional and delicious dry eraser.

Tudor's, which regular readers of Sandwich Monday and all right-thinking people will recognize as the greatest restaurant in the world, has just unveiled The Politician. It's a buttermilk biscuit full of bologna, egg and cheese — you know, just like politicians are full of bologna, egg and cheese.

This photo isn't blurry; you're just drunk on desire.

Before you get the wrong idea about the bologna, this is the thick-cut, West Virginia-style stuff. This is bologna that went to college. Doing a Google search for more information about the history of fried bologna in West Virginia was harder than I expected, because I just had a bite of The Politician and my fingers are now too wide to use a conventional keyboard.

The bologna is thick enough that you can use it as a unit of measurement. For instance, I am 182 centibolognas tall.

As far as I can tell, The Politician is Tudor's Biscuit World's first foray into political commentary. But it has had a role in politics. When West Virginia politicians were debating a bill to put calorie counts on menus a few years back, someone sneaked a couple of bags of Tudor's Biscuits into the meeting. The bill died.

So as for the calorie count of The Politician, we'll never know, and anyway, numbers only go so high. But it is delicious, and is yet another reason to get yourself to West Virginia as soon as possible.