My husband and I just completed a loop out to Wisconsin and back. Driving our Prius among 18-wheelers doing 80 felt like being a ballerina dropped into the middle of an ice hockey playoff.
On the way, we coaxed the little GPS voice in the phone to actually talk to us. It was exciting and comforting to have her direct our every turn. Even when we stopped at a supermarket on the way home, she insisted-- from the depths of my purse-- that we get back onto NY Route 7 east. But mostly, she’s unflappable, unlike my spouse navigator, who occasionally can’t help yelling “No! Bear left! You don’t want to go to Memphis!!”
Mind you, as navigators, we both try to keep our tones calm and reassuring, but we’re not always successful. So it occurred to me that travelers could use an encouragement app. It could be appended to the GPS for those times when the fight or flight response of a white knuckled driver needs to be coaxed out of high gear. The irksome backseat driver could be replaced by a calm voice directing you through a particularly hairy throughway exchange.
Then she’d congratulate you with something like: “Those trucks were scary but you did a great job. And during rush hour! Very impressive. Have you ever considered driving professionally?” Or if you should make a mistake, instead of your spouse holding her head and groaning, or jamming desperately on an imaginary brake, a soothing voice would observe that there are very few errors that can’t be undone. And it will only take an extra hour or so to double back the way you came and find the correct exit this time. Being late for the celery and olive hors d’oeuvres is not the end of the world.
And of course, there’s no need to limit this app to driving: calm pre-holiday jitters with something positive, like: “You look really sharp in that hat. They’re going to love your jell-o mold. That’s a terrific joke you’re practicing - the whole family will crack up - even Uncle Duke, who hasn’t smiled since 1992.”
That way, you arrive at your destination not drained and frazzled but with a bounce in your step, able to gracefully negotiate the exploded turkey, the viral toddler, and whatever else the holiday has in store.
