When a mutual friend doesn't make the cut off list, is it your responsibility to invite them as your 'plus-one'?
I was recently a bridesmaid at the wedding of a dear friend. The wedding was on the smaller side and the bride let me know that a mutual acquaintance had not made the guest list.
The bride, the friend and myself all went to high school together. The friend has actually known the bride longer than me but has not, over the years, not stayed as good friends with her.
There is no bad blood and the bride is very fond of this friend and sees her several times a year, she just didn't have room to invite her. In turn, I am very good friends with this acquaintance who is disappointed to not be invited but understood it's because she did not stay in touch as well as she could have. I received the 'plus one' to the wedding and immediately, the mutual friend began coyly lobbying to be invited as the 'plus one.' I didn't know what to do and it seemed awkward to ask.
Ultimately, as I was in the wedding party and wouldn't have had much time to spend with my friend anyway, I decided to not use my 'plus one' at all. What is the final word on this? Is it okay to bring a mutual acquaintance who knows they weren't originally invited? How should one ask the bride? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Mallory
This is a weird one. Personally, I think that no one should be lobbying for a 'plus one' spot. That's just bad etiquette. And not that I want to say that bad etiquette deserves bad behavior in return, I think at the end of the day it comes down to the fact that you are an invited guest to an event and whatever's going to makes you feel comfortable is what you should run with.
If you do feel inclined to bring the friend, call the bride and say, 'Hey, I don't have a date, I'd love to invite our mutual friend. I just wanted to check with you before doing it.'
