In a relationship, the lines between whose friends are whose can quickly blur. But what happens when your main group of friends are ones you've gained through a partner? Are part of the group or forever a plus one?
Most of the gay guys I know are people that were his friends first, meaning my fiancé’s friends. My fiance’s best man has planned a bachelor party for him. When my fiancé asked if I was invited, his best man informed him that I was not and that the party is just for him. As a couple, we hang out with his best man and the rest of that circle of friends regularly. I feel hurt that they would want to celebrate just him and not the two of us as a couple. This situation has made me question if I am actually one of the guys or if I'm still just my fiancé's plus one when we all get together. What is the proper etiquette in a situation?
Best regards,
Wants To Be One Of The Guys
The answer:
You and your fiancé should sit down together and decide what you think is the best way forward.
You might decide that this is a place you really want to make a stand, that this really matters to you. If it does, be honest with the friend. Tell him how you're feeling and tell him how you'd like to handle the situation moving forward.
"This situation has made me question if I am actually one of the guys or if I'm still just my fiancé's plus one when we all get together." - Wants To Be One Of The Guys
If it's not something that you feel that that strongly about, you could tell the friend how you're feeling about it and leave it to him to decide how he'd like to handle group situations going forward.
If you're having a hard time it can also be a good idea to depersonalize the situation.
Remember, people are operating with traditional expectations. The friend might have made the assumption that you each would want a traditional bachelor party experience, without your partner present for a final hurrah.
