I attended college during an era of feminist activism, when non-sexist language meant not using the word man when we meant human. The Handbook of Non-Sexist Language sat on the shelf right next to our copies of The Elements of Style, and we insisted on the honorific Ms. allowing women to be in the world without reference to their marital status. I didn’t see what business my marital status was back then, and I still don’t now. Even though I’m long married, I use the name I was born with, and smoke comes out my ears when people who know better call me by my husband’s last name.Language has always changed along with gender roles. I serve as Town Moderator, also known as the Presiding Officer and Chair. That’s three gender-neutral titles for an office that requires the gender-neutral qualities of formality and impartiality. At the meeting, however, I’m addressed as Madam Chairwoman, which is fine by me, since my gender identity and gender expression are both female.
The English language isn’t so clear when it comes to people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex assigned them at birth, especially when it comes to pronouns. During the second wave of feminism, we considered gender as binary and battled for equality through the awkward but inclusive pronoun constructions he – slash – she, him/her, his/hers. But with our new understanding of gender fluidity that includes men, women, transgender, transsexual and genderqueer, we need new pronouns in order to be inclusive and fair.
Some new pronouns have been invented, but the construction that’s gaining most traction is one already widely in use: they/them/theirs used as singular pronouns. As an old school English teacher, I used to cringe whenever someone used this plural pronoun with a singular noun. But when couched as a matter of personal preference and social justice, I’ve been able to let my grammar hackles drop. If someone tells me they use they/them/theirs pronouns to refer to themselves, I do my best to oblige.
And I’m not alone. Earlier this year, the University of Vermont started asking students to indicate what pronouns they prefer at registration, so that professors have the correct terminology for all their students.
Language changes over time. Some new words and the concepts they represent are swiftly adopted into the lexicon, such as localvore and twerking. Language around gender has been harder to change, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth giving it a try.
