Ever since we moved into our house in the woods back in ‘96 – just after the last 17-year cicada infestation – a variety of fauna start pestering us as soon as the weather warms up.
Over the years, I’ve warred with mice, voles, chipmunks, squirrels, and other rodents. Also bats, which are not rodents, but resemble them, given how often they get into our house. I’ve battled many a bat – but not with tennis rackets or baseball bats. I just open the windows and attempt to usher the little guys out: I crouch down, wave my hands around and generally look like a deranged home-plate umpire.
Speaking of deranged, we had a crazy woodchuck a while back that I swear once charged at me. And sometimes snakes also get into the house. That’s a lot of fun, let me tell you.
There are woodpeckers that like to conduct their noisy business on our barn’s metal roof, usually at dawn – as well as raccoons and weasels that attack our garbage and compost with gusto.
And that’s not counting the insects!
But this spring, I’ve been engaged in mortal combat with a particularly persistent porcupine. Well, not really. But I am trying to get it to stop munching on our porch. It loves the salt in the wood and apparently hasn’t yet heard the news that too much salt isn’t good for you.
A while back, my dog ended up with a quill in her nose, so I’ve gone beyond just yelling at what my brother-in-law calls the porch -u- pine. But so far, it’s the only clear winner in our battle – along with the company that sold me the fox urine powder that was supposed to repel the pesky critter.
All this reminds me of a concept called “radical environmentalism” in which so -called “eco-terrorists” believe we humans are perpetrating a war on nature. So they fight back on Mother Earth’s behalf by burning down not-yet-inhabited condos and sabotaging bulldozers and the like.
Usually, I sympathize with those who would defend nature from the continuing encroachment of us ubiquitous humans, especially because apparently these folks aren’t interested in physically hurting anyone. And I question the wisdom of using the word “terrorist” in this context, because there currently seem to be many other more worthy contenders for that particular label.
However, I wonder if the fears of those who cherish nature so dearly that they would risk imprisonment might be a tad overblown. If my own experiences are any guide, at least some of nature’s non-human representatives seem quite capable of fighting back on their own.
Which leads me back to the little nocturnal devil that loves to needle me. My point is, I must enjoy the fight on some level. Or, at any rate, more than I would the sad human vs. human battles that plague our society these days. Anyway, my next step is to borrow my brother in law’s Have-a-Heart trap. Wish me luck – I suspect I’m going to need it!
