We got our hands on an MRE — a "Meal, Ready to Eat" from the Department of Defense. It's a real marvel of engineering. In one flat bag, there's an imitation McRib, clam chowder, a couple of drinks, and some trail mix, and some note about how by eating this you consent to joining the Marines. All in one flat bag!
Special Guest Mike Pesca: This meal disgusts me more before 8 a.m. than most meals disgust me all day.
Miles: I'm going to imitation eat this imitation pork rib.
Ian: Anybody got napkins? I'm looking for a few good napkins.
![Recipe either created by the Department of Defense or stolen from McDonald's by the NSA.](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/4ca0191/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1603x1203+0+0/resize/880x660!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.npr.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2F2014%2F03%2F24%2Fphoto-3-2-d0d7a269cca2002abae6c08aa982cbc9cdec83d7.jpg)
The MRE really is impressive. It's even got a little heating element you can use to warm up your soup. I got a good sense for how good a soldier I'd make, though, when I lacked the arm strength to open the bag.
Pesca: I'm not saying MREs are old, but this thing was bagged during the Ibrahim al-Jaafari administration.
Ian: It's so cute how they call the next course Operation Dessert Storm.
![Barbecue sauce is the ultimate camo.](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/f461dc5/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1524x1143+0+0/resize/880x660!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.npr.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2F2014%2F03%2F24%2Fphoto-4-2-d5e93747baad14a5d91b80ebfb40d429fc6460c1.jpg)
Pesca: If the Army eats too many of these, it's gonna take a whole new GI Bill to pay for the new GI Bills.
Ian: In about an hour, I'm going to dishonorably discharge this.
[The verdict: Fine — not the meal you're going to pick if you don't have to, but a pretty amazing feat to make all that nutrition portable. I'd put the Department of Defense's McRib up against the Golden Arches any day.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!
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![Intern Seth washes out of basic training.](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/b3253e1/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1478x1109+0+0/resize/880x660!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.npr.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2F2014%2F03%2F24%2Fphoto-3-3-7db35285c77150128e3b9d51a53887ea8c1c84d9.jpg)